Help yourself in your future relationships with these fantastic and thoughtful exercises from The Inner Fix.
Taking Stock of Your Past Relationships
1) Write a list of all your past (serious) relationships. For each one, write the following:
The good qualities each partner possessed.
The bad qualities each partner possessed.
The positive aspects of the relationship.
The negative aspects of the relationship.
The big mistakes you made in the relationship.
The reason for it ending.
2) Note down the main patterns and similarities emerging throughout the relationships. For example: did you always seem to go out with a ‘bad boy’? Did you always cheat? Did those you dated always have money struggles?
3) What are the similarities and differences between your own relationship patterns and that of your parents?
Read the following prayer out loud before your next morning meditation:
Please remove any barriers I have put up around my heart. Please take from me the games I play to deny myself the joy of love. Help me to hand over my deepest fears and insecurities around romance to you. Thank you for healing my wounds from past relationships, so that I am open to love freely, in a totally new way.
Future Partner Values List
In your journal, write a list of your romantic partner non-nego- tiables. List the qualities and attributes that you’d like your next partner to have, putting a star next to the most important ones.
This is an opportunity to get clear about what you’ve learned from your previous relationships, and where your values lie for your romantic future.
Of course, this list can evolve as time goes on. You may meet someone and find that, actually, you’re happy to compromise a little. However, if you don’t get clear on where you’d like to end up, you could end up anywhere. So be specific and write down what it is you desire.
Take Yourself Out On a Date
Get dressed up, decide on a plan that excites you and take your- self out.
The good news is that you get to choose every bit of this experience. If you’re expecting someone else to enjoy a date with you in time to come, you need to learn how to enjoy your own company first.
Whether you’re in a relationship or single, getting into the habit of wooing yourself on a regular basis will attract in the positive experience of love that you desire.